Some days you just need a break, but if feels impossible with small children. As moms we push through most days and it pays off. After all we are usually OK. But when you start to reach burn-out it’s better to take a scheduled break. When you reach that point you’re likely not to be achieving a whole lot anyways. Being over tired lowers productivity. Knowing that working harder during burnout isn’t likely to yield a fruitful day anyway, you might as well make the call to be less productive and rest. If you feel guilty about “slacking off,” then I’m here to tell you that you are not slacking off, you are being strategic. Restoring mama’s energy is going to pay off in the days ahead. You’ll be happier and more rested and I think your kids will be happier and your house is probably going to end up a tad bit cleaner or in the same state it was. So you don’t have much to lose. Try these ideas to give you that mental health day.
What does a mental health day look like with kids?
Start by making an easy breakfast. Adding hot water to instant oatmeal packet is one of my favorite easy breakfasts. My kids are big eaters so sometimes I add a cut up apple and some coconut sugar and top it with almond milk. It’s more filling and still easy. Getting my kids full and satisfied is key for me getting anything done, even if all I’m doing is trying to take it easy. Cereal or frozen waffles is also a go to on certain days. I have a friend whose kids eat Lara Bars for breakfast everyday. She fills their milks and they get their own bars from the cupboard. This happens daily and she consistently uses the time and energy on something else. Breakfast is checked off her list everyday. That wouldn’t work for my kids routinely. They need more food than that. But I love that it works for her.
Use paper dishes. I am not always a fan of this and I still have some lingering guilt about this. This is how I justify using paper plates from time to time. If I went for fast-food or take out then I would be using disposable containers. Doing this is a nice option at times because it’s easier but it can be cost prohibitive and not as healthy. I am concerned about my carbon footprint. I even took a composting class just so I could use paper plates guilt free. But I found out that I would have had to cut them up in the size of quarters to compost them. Umm, where is the time saving in that? There went that pipe dream and I stuck with real dishes. However on MHD I am consciously choosing to use the paper dishes.
Drink an entire glass of water or if you already do this then drink two glasses. Dehydration is common and depletes your energy. Plus it is key to detoxification and health. I think we all know this, so I’ll move on.
Drink the minimal amount of coffee possible so that you don’t feel withdrawal symptoms. Sit and relax with them in the morning. Set out laundry baskets about the house to put things that need to be put away later. This way you don’t create too much more mess but you also don’t have to deal with it today.
Read the kids a book and connect with them early in the day. If you do this it’ll make it easier for you to break away later because they will be less clingy. Set up blanket time. Each child gets their own space with one or two good toys and plays for 20 minutes. Let them play while you enjoy your coffee or tea. Try to relax. You can do whatever that means to you but definitely put your phone away for the most part. If you don’t need to be on your phone then put it away completely and check it once every few hours. iPhones have the do not disturb function that allows calls from favorites. This works if you are expecting a call or if you are worried you’ll miss an emergency call. Most likely you don’t need your phone all day so just let your key people aka your husband know so he doesn’t get worried. Your mind can’t rest with the distraction of smartphones. Scrolling isn’t good for your brain and it depletes you. I’ll spare you the scary stats if you just trust that taking a break from it now and then is vital.
Continue your day with an easy lunch. Make sure you eat too. I don’t always eat that well. I love my cheese, but if I am trying to refuel then I’ll buy a good bag of salad mix. Something tasty and satisfying. Taylors Organic Farms has a Southwest Salad bag that I like. Or get a frozen meal and eat it with an apple. It isn’t diet day or even a spa weekend so you don’t have to be super healthy. Just don’t only eat chips and M and M’s.
By this time the morning will have gone by and you’ll need to fill the rest of the day. The trick to the easy day is to let them play on their own for as long as possible but interfere with an activity before someone gets too restless and starts a fight or gets hurt. Throughout the day give your kids easy things to play with that are easy to clean up. Here are some ideas to keep kids busy that require minimal effort from mom. Definitely don’t use them all in one day that will defeat the purpose of the mental health day.
Pick a few in advance. You can even set a lot of this up in a few minutes before they wake up. I like to do it before they wake up because it is a tiny bit of work upfront but it makes the day go more smoothly. But it can also be done during the day too.
Here are some ideas:
- Put up wrapping paper on the wall and let them decorate it with stickers.
- Paint with water no mess books.
- Paint the playhouse or actual house outside with paintbrushes and water. Try to read while they play outside. Have applesauce pouches ready for snack so you don’t have to get up.
- I have a bubble machine and they run around and let the bubbles chase them and try to pop them. This has given me hours of entertained kids.
- Let them try to toss mini marshmallows into a cup across the table. Then they have to pick them up at the end. You can make it a game and if they all fill their dixie cups up then they can have a big marshmallow.
- Take a walk.
- Set out a sensory table. I fill it with beans and dinosaurs or sand and sand toys. You don’t need a fancy table to do this. It can be as simple as corkscrew pasta and figurines in a 9X12 casserole dish. On easy days I like the larger items and skip the sand and play doh because its is more clean up.
- If it is a snow day and you have an under the bed storage container fill it will snow and set it under a towel and you have a winter wonderland for Elsa or GI Joe.
- Bubble (repeated from above) Machine- turn this baby on and let the bubbles chase them. They can run for a good 20 minutes while they pop and chase bubbles. This is the one I purchased off amazon.
- A bounce house is a pretty big investment. But if you can afford it or borrow one from a friend, it can keep them busy a long time. I love sharing toys or getting used things at Goodwill. We can use it and enjoy it and then donate it or pass it on. With Covid right now I figured I could apply the money that we would be spending on camps and eating out with the kids on the bounce house. If money is an issue consider finding a group of similar ages who could share some big investment toys. It would have to be with people you trust. And then purchase the replacement insurance in case it breaks.
Having some ideas planned a head of time will keep your day more relaxed.
You can also look outside your home to fill your mental health day. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most moms feel similarly at times. Perhaps your kids could play at someone’s house for a couple hours. If asking for help is hard you can always approach it like this… “Hey I was thinking we could watch each others kids for a couple hours next week to give us each some kid free time.” If you have a friend with kids of a similar age that play well together consider having them all over for a playdate. Sometimes a payday makes my day go so much faster and it is easier. But not always. So only do this if you know what to expect.
You know yourself and what will make your day more relaxing, so go with that when you make your plans. If you are feeling low and seeing someone won’t perk you up then stay in this afternoon. Now that I have taken away your screen, go ahead and pop that movie on for the kids. Take a nap if you can or just close your eyes with your feet up. When I couldn’t leave my girls alone, a quiet movie was easier to rest to then something annoying or loud. Skip anything where the sound fluctuates too much. When considering shows look for shows where the screen changes frames no more than every 6 sections. It is heather for brain development, but today might not be the day to deal with that. Maybe pour a glass of iced tea and put a cold washcloth on your face.
Need to get out of the house for some fresh air? Load them up and drive them through Starbucks as a reward for behaving today. Get yourself something decaf and watch them play in the yard or hey- put on another movie.
Congrats you have made it to dinner. Here are your options: something from the freezer like chicken nuggets served with an apple or broccoli. Maybe plain noodles with butter. You can aim big and make mac and cheese but that pot is harder to clean. If you have an easy crock pot meal this is a day to use it. Other options are delivery or ask your husband to bring something home. Is possible to make tonight a date night? Not always possible, but if you can then do that! If you are feeling blue then ask your husband to put them to bed by himself and go watch something funny. It is important to honor how you feel but also important to acknowledge it and then move yourself to a place of feeling better as quickly and authentically as possible. Stay off the internet if you can. Comparison is the thief of all joy. If you must stay on kid duty and do bedtime alone then grab the bubbles. Those babies are going to have some good clean fun for 30 minutes while you look at a magazine. Bonus if you can, actually read a book. I even had a friend who would drive through Chick Fil A and feed those kids in the tub! Get creative, have fun and relax. Don’t let the daily grind get to you today. If the mess stresses you like I said toss it all in laundry baskets and put it away later. Keep it simple by creating minimal messes. Your kids will probably love to have this laid back day with you. Try to grab some cuddles if you can. This is your day and your life and you deserve to take the time to relax and regroup.
End your evening with a gratitude list. If you feel like diving deeper than a gratitude list then try Three Good Things. Take some magnesium or valerian and go to sleep by 10pm. Thanks for reading. If you have the time to do this today, great but most likely you are already booked. So plan ahead and mark your mental health day on the calendar. If you have a busy day ahead download the Thought Organizer. It is a detox for your brain to get you organized and away from overwhelm.
I can’t wait for you to carve out some time for yourself and see that you actually can do less and still end up being just as productive in a few days time. Truly, we all need to take regular breaks. It is better to plan ahead and give your self a break before you have a melt down. The key to making this day work with kids is to invest the time upfront. 10 minutes to brainstorm your day will buy you hours. And make sure to spend time switch your children’s activity before they get board or upset. Front loading time with the kiddos to fill them up by reading a book or playing will make them more likely to play on their own. Then you can have dedicated time to yourself; even if dedicated time means you are sitting in a chair in the same room as them. You can consciously choose to sit with your feet up, read, stretch or what have you. It is your mental health day.